Q: Why has your humor taken a turn toward the conservative?
A: They bombed those two buildings, remember? I woke up the next day and had an epiphany. I want our guy to go kill terrorists. It's that simple. People think it's some big shift. I can't believe that a good portion of my country doesn't believe that as well. Not only do they fly planes into buildings, they wire up their own kids to bombs. You could've gone into the bunker with Hitler and Goering and suggested they wire their kids to explode, and they'd have said, "Hey, let's slow down. That's a little crazy."
Q: In a sense, does your career mirror Winston Churchill's notion that if you're not a liberal at 20, you have no heart; if you're not a conservative at 40, you have no brain?
A: That's exactly the process I've gone through. I'm 53, and I'm a pragmatist. We watched punks blow up our buildings and, what, I'm now supposed to sit around and think about how we wronged the punks? Things get cut and dried as you get older. And what about the people who never, ever change the way they think about things? Those are the people I slide away from at cocktail parties.
Q: You've taken shots at Barbra Streisand for her liberal activism..
A: Barbra Streisand is an ungodly talent, but she went into the (show business) bubble at 16. And she reflects that in all the shallow, typical ways. She has the political beliefs of a sixth-grader.
Q: When it comes to political thought, which authors do you read?
A: I read Charles Krauthammer, Thomas Friedman and Mark Steyn. Personally, I think Krauthammer is a genius.
Q: Handicap the most prominent presidential candidates for the 2008 election:
A: John McCain — I love him and (his service as a Vietnam POW) is one of the most noble, courageous acts ever. But he's 73. I want to see him ride off into the sunset and enjoy the rest of his life.
Rudy Giuliani — That's who I'm voting for. He's a tough guy. And I don't care if he's been married three times.
Barack Obama — Sweet kid. If I were 19 years old, I'd vote for him. But if Michael Corleone was right about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, he better spot-weld a Clinton to each hip.
Hillary Clinton — She's boring, basically. I read her book last year and she said she had no idea Bill was running around on her. Really? I'm not sure you're smart enough to be my president.
Al Gore — At some point, he'll come riding over the hill like he's the cavalry. But it won't take long for everyone to figure out he's not Forrest Tucker. He's Larry Storch, and he's got his hat on sideways.
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