Big Pen

Jul 31, 2010

FIDO is the obvious next movie to see after Zombieland....

Cover of Fido

Should a movie about an 11 year-old boy, who befriends a zombie get an R Rating? This was the question that nagged me as I sat down to watch "Fido." a Canadian movie releasedin 2007 starring Carrie Anne Moss (The Matrix) and Tim Blake Nelson... While the DVD cover says it is gut laughing funny, I was more intrigued, waiting for the "R" rated violence to happen...

For the first time, I think a movie's rating influenced how I viewed the film... I kept expecting something that would force me to pass by it on the next family movie night... Nope.... Nothing... Alright, so a kid beheads an old woman... who here hasn't seen a few of those things happen from time to time? And yes, who hasn't seen a mom kill and burn a couple of ill-mannered kids....? But seriously, I am not afraid to recommend this to kids aged 12 and up. It makes no real attempt to scare you....just entertain....

The movie is awesome.... Basically very funny, and exudes 1950's charm, a la Pleasantville.... But shame on the MPAA for rating it 'R'... This is a PG-13 movie all the way!! Unlike any other zombie movie you are likely to see this week...
One reviewer noted: "It is probable you will appreciate the humour of this film unless your father tried to eat you."

Don't Throw A Brick In Your Washing Machine

FAST FORWARD to about 45 seconds in..... wait for it........
Then read some of the comments posted by readers of Gizmodo below.....:

The robots will just see things like this as snuff films and cut our food rations in the future because of it :(

Tsk Tsk Tsk. He forgot to use faBrick softener.

That brick was filthy. Should be all clean now.

Awww man that a really nice washer. I wish I had a washer so bad.

Usually washing machines have concrete on the bottom to weigh it down to prevent something like this from happening. They must have removed that weight, or this thing would not have gone very far.

So...why didn't Jack use a brick to kill the smoke monster?

His mother is going to be really mad!

Oh man. Why do I feel horribly bad for an inanimate object? What's wrong with me? Why wasn't I able to kill bystanders in Grand Theft Auto?

Can a man feel sympathy towards tools and imaginary things?

Omg, that's so stupid and i can't stop laughing. I don't know why, it's cruel to the poor washing machine, but it's hilarious.

Sounds like a song from Nine Inch Nails.

so, what was wrong/going on with the machine before he put the brick in?

Jul 29, 2010

Sunday Night Football? Uh.....Try NFC East Footbal

NBC has lost their freakin' minds, giving all the football love to one conference this season. The 4 NFC East teams: Dallas Cowboys, Philadelphia Eagles, New York Giants and Washington Redskins appear a combined 10 times out of the 16 games televised...The Giants and Philadelphia each appear 3 times this season, despite neither team remotely doing well last season..The Giants missed the playoffs at 8-8, and Philly got trounced in their one wildcard game... Total rip-off if you ask me... My Denver Broncos appear just once, vs. San Diego on Monday Night.. The NFC East teams appear a combined 17 times in ALL prime-time games this season... Boring........The Super Bowl champs, the New Orleans Saints get little Sunday love with just one appearance on Sunday Night, but 4 other prime-time games: twice on Monday, and twice on Thursday...

Jul 25, 2010

The Scientifically Perfect Handshake

Lifehacker had an interesting article on handshakes....As usual, the comments were more entertaining than the article... First the meat of the article....
Researchers at the University of Manchester in England have turned their attention to uncovering the perfect handshake:

1) right hand
2) a complete grip
3) and a firm squeeze (but not too strong)
4) in a mid-point position between yourself and the other person
5) a cool and dry palm,
6) approximately three shakes,
7) with a medium level of vigor,
8) held for no longer than two to three seconds,
9) with eye contact kept throughout and
10) a good natural smile
11) with a slow offset
12) with, of course, an appropriate accompanying verbal statement.

COMMENTS:
Oddly enough, its almost the same formula for someone at a urinal...
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So, no deductions if I whip it out? AWESOME!!! yes. I've been drinking..
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I find that this always does the trick...
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Isn't this entirely culture-specific? I've been in the middle east and south-east asia, where handshakes are completely different - very limp, a shake or two, but then the grip can last upwards of 30 seconds. I've had short conversations before the hand release. Very awkward for a westerner the first few times. I've gotten used to it, but I still don't like it. It is fun to demonstrate to other people, and see them start getting very antsy :)My point is that its very culture-dependent.
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Cartoon site "The Oatmeal" has a nice overview of "The 9 Types of Crappy Handshakes": HANDSHAKES

Jul 24, 2010

Great Movie Pick-Up Lines

In the movies, they make it look so easy..
Take this, from Clark Gable to Jean Harlow in Red Dust:
"Mind if I get drunk with you?"

Or Annette Bening to Warren Beatty in Bugsy:
"I gotta warn ya, every man I've ever gone out with has been ruined."
"Well, that's what they get for messing with my girl."

Or, of course, Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn in Charade:
Cary: "Do we know each other?"

Audrey: "Why, do you think we're going to? Because I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else."

Cary: "Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know."

“I would give anything if you were two people, so I could call up the one who is my friend and tell her about the one I like so much.”
(Albert Brooks to Holly Hunter, Broadcast News, 1987)

“Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?”
“I'm in.”
(Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson, Lost In Translation, 2004)

“Your eyes are amazing do you know that? You should never shut them, not even at night.”
(Oliver Martinez to Dianne Lane, Unfaithful, 2002)

Jul 23, 2010

Inception Hurts Your Head

Let me start off by saying I love movies that ask you to think... But I also am partial to movies that have a narrator chime in occasionally, to reinforce what I think I just saw.... Inception... well.... needs continuous narration, from the very first frame.... to the VERY LAST. I give it an 8 out of 10. I love every movie Ellen Page has made, and most of Leo's....I immediately glossed the movie as "The Matrix meets James Bond." and apparently so did a few other critics... The visuals are worth the ever-increasing price of admission alone... At my thater, it showed on the former IMAX screen, and they charged $12... Damn....Add popcorn/diet coke, and we're at $26.... this had BETTER be a good movie..... I hated the first bombastic 10 minutes of the film, as it doesn't put it's big toe into the cinematic water... It does a freaking cannonball, splashing all kinds of plot and narrative over you while you're still reaching for your popcorn.... After awhile the film does let you in on the idea: What if you can get 7 or 8 people together to simultaneously share one dream? And what if you put one person in charge of "building" the very grounds, and buildings you will visit in this dream? And what if you wanted to take advantage of one of the other people in this same dream? And what if it took you 3 or more levels of dreaming to get it done?.... Go enjoy this movie, and quit reading now... No way can ANYONE sum it up.. It's good. Not perfect, but good. Comment below with your rating....

The First Post-Apocolpytic Reality Series

The Discovery Channel finally got off their duffs, and added something to their seemingly non-stop Crab-Fishing coverage, and came up with something intriguing.... A "Survivor" type show in an urban area, predicated on the idea that something HUGELY BAD has happened, and 7 volunteers are on their own.....Against real people, and staged .... um events.......

It Premieres this Tuesday, the 27th.
To get a taste, click here

Jul 21, 2010

A Few Thoughts About Time Travel

A recent article in WIRED.COM talked about Time Travel, and the latest philosophical thoughts about it, but it is the reader's comments that are the most fun to read.....
From the article:
" .....Any theory of time travel has to confront the devastating “grandfather paradox,” in which a traveler jumps back in time and kills his grandfather, which prevents his own existence, which then prevents the murder in the first place, and so on........"

Selected comments from readers:
- Someone’s mere presence in the past is sufficient to disrupt air currents, people, etc. so that the future is altered (even if imperceptibly) on an exponential scale depending on how far into the past one traveled. For time travel to the past to work, it would be a one way trip; one could never travel to the past and return to the same future from whence they came.

Posted by: sixwings | 07/20/10 | 6:05 pm |
- Any physicist (e.g., Stephen Hawking, Kip Thorne, Michio Kaku, etc.) who claims that general relativity does not forbid time travel is a fucking crackpot or a liar/con artist.
Nothing can move in spacetime, goddammit. Furthermore, the idea that we are already traveling in time toward the future at one second per second is not even wrong. It is an illusion of the mind that we are traveling toward the future. There is no time dimension because a time dimension would make motion impossible. There is only the changing present, the NOW. That’s it.
All your time travel fantasies are crap. LOL.

- Posted by: Xylenz | 07/20/10 | 6:09 pm |
Someone please go back in time and shoot sixwings’ grandfather.

- All the people who have ever gone back in time and shot their own grandfathers are already not here. The future is all done and in our past already.

- The question is — If time travel is possible, why hasn’t there been a scientist come tell his past self or other scientists that they’ve figured it out. He could help the process along. But then he wouldn’t need to if the process would be fast-tracked in the first place.
But then surely someone would have visited our time from the future by now if time travel is ever going to be possible??

- If you are going to travel back in time you already have. There is no way to change what has happened. You may go back with the intention of killing your grandfather or mine. You have already failed to do so, it is an inevitability. This takes away free will, turning us into mere chemical reactions going through phase changes as the universe cycles through.

Jul 20, 2010

Ten Major Billboard Music Records

Fun site Mental Floss had this recent Top 10 article:
1. Most weeks on the chart: Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon, 741 weeks. 741 WEEKS. That’s more than 14 years! Color me impressed, Heather. No other artist or album has even come close to that achievement – the closest was Johnny Mathis’ Johnny’s Greatest Hits, which spent 490 weeks (almost 9.5 years) on the charts.
2. The most top-ten albums: The Rolling Stones with 36 albums, followed by Frank Sinatra at 32 and The Beatles at 31.
3. The most number-one albums: The Beatles with 19, followed by Elvis and Jay-Z with 10 each. Tied for third are The Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen with nine each. Fourth place is another tie: Barbra Streisand and Garth Brooks both have eight.
4. The biggest chart jump: Life After Death by The Notorious B.I.G., #176 to #1. This is really no surprise – the album was released posthumously just 16 days after his death in 1997. Other huge leaps include Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy, from #173 to #1; Radiohead’s In Rainbows, from #156 to #1; and somewhat surprisingly, The Monkees’ More of the Monkees, from #122 to #1. And another quick fact about Vitalogy – it originally charted at#55, and that was actual vinyl album sales, not CDs. It was the first vinyl album to chart at all since CDs entered the market.
5. The biggest chart drop: Light Grenades by Incubus, from #1 to #40. This just happened in 2006 and broke the previous record held by Marilyn Manson’s The Golden Age of Grotesque, which dropped from #1 to #21 in 2003. Other plummets include Young Jeezy’s The Inspiration, falling from #1 to #18 and Nine Inch Nails’ The Fragile, which fell from #1 to #16. You can see that Incubus holds the record pretty handily.
6. The only artist to ever have four number one albums in the same year: The Monkees. They even topped ever-present bands The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, which is pretty astounding. The year was 1967 and the albums were The Monkees (released in 1966 but still #1 on the charts in 1967), More of the Monkees, Headquarters and Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones, Ltd. . Their two album releases in 1968 only managed #3 and #45, 1969′s efforts landed them at #32 and #100, and it only got worse from then on out. It must hurt to fall so hard, so fast!
ill

7. The first rap/hip-hop album to hit #1: Licensed to Ill, the Beastie Boys. It was 1987. Kind of ironically, it only made it to #2 on the actual Hip Hop/R&B chart.
8. First artist to hold the #1 and #2 spots: Bob Newhart. Yep, that’s right. In the ’60s, Bob’s The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart and its sequel, The Button-Down Mind Strikes Back held both spots, beating both Elvis and The Sound of Music soundtrack. The subtitle of the first album is “The Most Celebrated New Comedian Since Attila the Hun.” That first album garnered him three Grammys in 1961: Best New Artist, Best Comedy Performance (Spoken Word) and Album of the Year. But back to the #1 and #2 spots on the Billboard Charts thing: the only artists to ever do the same are Guns ‘n’ Roses in 1991 with Use Your Illusion I and II, and Nelly in 2004 with Suit and Sweat.
9. The most weeks on the top ten: Music for Lovers Only by Jackie Gleason at 153 weeks. Surprising, no? That’s almost double the length of time Thriller spent in the top ten: 78 weeks.
10. Longest time for an album to make it to #1: Paula Abdul’s Forever Your Girl, 64 weeks. Yep, Paula’s album was on the charts for more than a year before it finally gained enough steam to take the #1 position. But she did really well on the singles chart – the album contained four #1 hits, which ties her for second place for the most songs to hit #1 from one single album. The singles were “Straight Up,” “Forever Your Girl,” “Cold Hearted” and “Opposites Attract.” The number-one spot goes to Michael Jackson’s Bad album, which had five #1 singles: I Just Can’t Stop Loving You, Bad, The Way You Make Me Feel, Man in the Mirror and Dirty Diana.

Jul 19, 2010

Who Is This?

Reese Witherspoon or Cybill Shepard?

Jul 15, 2010

Top 10 Stand-Up Performances of All Time

We've all seen them somewhere... on DVD most likely... the 80 or 90 minutes of pure gold....... My Favorite single performances (not lifetimeAchievements...) are:

10    Demitri Martin - Person
9    Lewis Black - Black on Broadway
8    Chris Rock - Kill The Messenger
7    Eddie Griffin - Voodoo Child
6    Seinfeld - I'm Telling You For The Last Time
5    Brian Regan - Standing Up
4    Jim Gaffigan - Beyond The Pale
3    David Spade - Take The Hit
2    Eddie Murphy - Live
1    Christopher Titus - Love Is Evol
84 minutes of spot-on headache-inducing comedy, where he details his divorce, and the new girl in his life, told on Valentines Day... Here's the first 10 minutes... the other 74 are funnier....

The Top 10 TV Shows From 2000-2010

10. Entourage - There are few shows as short as Entourage... Some pound on you with intensity, or drama, and some drift by like a breeze, so easy to watch, that it takes no further concentration than writing your name on a sheet of paper... No sooner than I've settled into my seat, with a soda or beer, and vicariously lived a week in the life of one Vincent Chase, and held onto my hat as Ari Gold rips into his assistant, the end credits are rolling.

9. Prison Break- Michael Scofield is one of the most charismatic characters ever brought to the small screen.

The character first appeared in the series pilot as a man who stages a bank robbery in order to get sent into the prison where his older brother, Lincoln Burrows (Dominic Purcell), is being held until his execution. The premise of Prison Break revolves around the two brothers and Michael's plan to help Lincoln escape his death sentence. The improbable plot twists, and vivid gritty characters kept me hanging on through the series 4 year run. It was the perfect length for the series. Another season sould have been retarded... After all, they break out of 2 different prisons.... The Season 2 cat and mouse game between Scofield and troubled FBI Agent Alex Mahone bested even the duel between Tommy Lee Jones and Harrison Ford in The Fugitive.

8. King Of Queens The movie "Despicable Me" is out right now, but K.O.Q could've been called "Despicable Them." Even Seinfeld's characters, who went to prison for their lack of character were holier than Doug and Carrie Heffernan. Incredibly funny and yes, despicable moments ensued over the series' eight or so seasons on the air, with an amazing cast of supporting characters, and Kevin James impeccable comic timing, the show was a delight.

7. Frasier- Spun off from Cheers, Frasier actually aired longer than Cheers did, from 1993 to 2004. I believe the character of Frasier is the longest running character in TV, perhaps second only to some guy on Gunsmoke. I'm certain that that's what made the show so great. Seeing a character develop over 23 years was like growing up with someone.. I know Frasier as well as I know my actual friends.In real life, I have no opera attending, sherry sipping psychologist friends, but great writing made this erudite, pompous windbag a person I'd actually be friends with, and actually miss, when the show ended.

6. Weeds - I've never subscribed to Showtime, and was late to discover "Weeds." The show has the quirkiness of "Northern Exposure" and "Arrested Development," but all the while, viewers start to feel a paranoid edginess, as they root for the drug-dealing, absentee mother Nancy Botwin. Central to all my Top Ten picks, a great cast is the reason the show works so well...That, and FEARLESS writing. Who else puts a soccer mom in a mini-mall connected to a tunnel under the Mexican border where heroin and prostitutes are smuggled on a daily basis? The rewards of watching Kevin Nealon and Elizabeth Perkins (both former clients) self-implode are many... Smoke up!

5. House - Don't you just wanna smack Gregory House? Not if you were in his hospital, with some ridiculously obscure disease. Hugh Laurie deserves every Emmy nomination he gets for his work. Hell, just quashing his native British accent alone, and sounding so.... American is fine work, but he inhabits that character like no other.... He is a thinking man's Archie Bunker. Quick to point fingers at everyone else, and unable to figure out why he is so damn miserable. Yet, he is funny in the snarkiest of ways, and I rejoice in the torment he unleashes on his co-workers.. The medical mystery runs a distant second place to his antics....

4. E.R. - Like Frasier, I've seen Dr. John Carter for 15 years, and come to know his character well... I've never missed a single episode in the series 15 year run, and it was every bit as good in season 15 as it was at the start... No medical show has, or ever will, come close to the longevity of E.R The sheer number of main characters on the show takes an eternity to scroll through. (Go ahead, click on the link, and watch your scrollbar on the right side of the screen turn into a tiny sliver.......) The list of major guest stars who appeared on not one episode, but stuck around for 5 or more, is incredible.... Again, it was the stories and the writing that kept everyone coming back....

3. Lost - Very little more can be said about the most innovative show to EVER air on television. When theologists and scholars are still trying to write about the themes and theories of the show, all I can do is stand back and smile. Thank you J.J. Abrams for Lost, AND "Alias."

2. 24    What will the world do without Jack Bauer? Yes, seasons 6 and 7 were iffy, but even iffy seasons of 24 blow away everything else on the TV landscape.... Pure adrenaline, pure escapism, pure punishment.
I hope the rumored film packs the wallop that the series sustained. I only regret that some of the characters they killed off could've made it into the big screen version....


1. Deadwood - Shakespeare would've been astonished by the writing of this show.... and at times, he'd be the only one who could comprehend it.... Never has a show had such eloquence mix with such potty-mouth dialogue... The dialogue that issues from this heavy drama about life in Deadwood, South Dakota circa 1871.

Many historical figures appear as characters on the show—such as Seth Bullock, Al Swearengen, Wild Bill Hickok, Sol Star, Calamity Jane, Wyatt Earp, E. B. Farnum, Charlie Utter, and George Hearst. The plot lines involving these characters include historical truths as well as substantial fictional elements. Some of the characters are fully fictional, although they may have been based on actual persons. Deadwood received wide critical acclaim, particularly for Milch's writing and Ian McShane's co-lead performance.^[3] It also won eight Emmy Awards (in 28 nominations) and one Golden Globe. Shame on HBO for cutting costs, and putting Milch's other project, the useless "John From Cincinnati" on in its place.... It is impossible for me to watch other westerns now, as they look absolutely stupid when compared with this, the most masterfully written show in TV history.

Honorable Mentions: Battlestar Galactica, Coupling (BBC), Jericho

Jul 14, 2010

How To Make $56,000 in 3 minutes...

For all those wondering why Drew Carey acts so lame in this video, there is an article on Esquire magazine's website that explains it. Well.... FIRST... watch the video....................................According to a commentor on the video..The guy who won had been studying the show for months, trying to figure out patterns in the prices. The producers initially thought he cheated and the show would never air, which is why Carey just kinda blows off the whole moment. Still a super weak move by him, though.

Semi-frightening Look At How Our Rock Star Icons have aged...

For the full photo essay... click here...but open a beer first... It's a bumpy ride.... I feel sooooo much older than I did 10 minutes ago...

Jul 13, 2010

When All Summer TV blows, get back to the basics..

I stumbled upon an article about fat TV husbands and their hot wives... And realized that formula might be the single best formula for success on TV... Starting with the Honeymooners and The Flintstones, through Modern Family... the list pretty much shows 'em all... Women viewers can laugh at how stupid the males are, and male viewers can just ogle the wives.... Not sure Marge Simpson is hot enough to ogle, except for the episode when she was a calendar girl.... A commentor posted a clip of my favorite rerun show, "The King of Queens." starring my former client Leah Remini. As funny as the clip is, it doesn't capture even a portion of the funny stuff thats been on there... Criminal that that show never got an Emmy.....

Jul 9, 2010

Emmy Thoughts

The production offices at 'Friday Night Lights' must be a-twitter, with long-awaited nominations for Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton, for Lead Actor/tress..... Truly the best portrait of a marriage ever put on TV.

Likewise, the 'Modern Family' family should be feeling smug right about now, though it's a shame that Ed O'Neil was left out... Still laughing at repeats, most recently, at the Pigeon Battle:

I'm wondering when America's undying love for vampires will... die! True Blood gets an undeserved nom for Best Drama Series... I've watched 2 episodes, and came away unimpressed.

Did you know there was a category for Best Non-Fiction TV Special? I hope The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special - In 3D-- On Ice! Wins....

Best Reality Show? If they give it to The Amazing Race AGAIN, I'm going to have kittens... The recently completed 20th season of Survivor didn't even get a nod, despite the press and critics saying it might have been its best ever.... Russell just can't get no love. Instead, I'd hope they give it to Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution... Only 6 episodes, but great ones! The jaw-dropping episodes are here on Hulu.
Back next week with more thoughts on TV....

Can't ever find anything good to watch? Stick with me, kid.

Jun 28, 2010

Summer TV is UNWATCHABLE

Except for Friday Night Lights, I’m not watching a single thing off broadcast TV this summer…..Thank heavens for Netflix and Hulu…

A few gems I’m WAYYYYY late to the party TV-wise:

–

COUPLING…

Not the useless US version, but the British original. Netflix has all three fairly short seasons….Easily as funny as Friends…..

CTRL….

A very unusual web-based series with NBC $$ behind it… Not some $18 student with camcorder production… Funny idea about an office worker who can manipulate time/space using the keys on his keyboard..Full Episodes Here

Technorati Tags: CTRL,Coupling,TV

Jun 10, 2010

Free Diver Creates Mesmerizing Trip into Deep Sinkhole

In this remarkable clip, world freediving champion Guillaume Nery stands at the edge of the world's deepest underwater sink hole. And he jumps. The ensuing photography is a hypnotic adventure into the impossible. While Nery contends that no freediver can nor ever will make it to the bottom of Dean's Blue Hole, he spent four afternoons pulling off the stunts to simulate the effect while girlfriend/freediver Julie Gautier, just as impressively, filmed them (while freediving herself!) with a Canon 5D Mark II. (via Gizmodo)

Apr 14, 2010

Iggy The Cat And The iPad

Feb 18, 2010

My Top 90 Favorite List of Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Punishments

    * I will not waste chalk.
    * I will not aim for the head.
    * I will not skateboard in the halls.
    * I will not do anything bad ever again.
    * I will not torment the emotionally frail.
    * I will not call the principal "spud head".
    * I will not spank others.
    * I am not a dentist.
    * I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
    * Spitwads are not free speech.
    * "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
    * High explosives and school don't mix.
    * Hamsters cannot fly.
    * All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
    * I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
    * I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
    * I am not deliciously saucy.
    * Organ transplants are best left to the professionals.
    * I will not send lard through the mail.
    * No one wants to hear my armpits.
    * Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.
    * The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far.
    * I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist.
    * I do not have power of attorney over first graders.
    * I am not certified to remove asbestos.
    * "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice.
    * I will not barf unless I'm sick.
    * I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
    * I will not instigate revolution.
    * I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
    * I will not call my teacher "hot cakes".
    * I will not snap bras.
    * Garlic gum is not funny.
    * I will not fake seizures.
    * I will not encourage others to fly.
    * I will not bury the new kid.
    * I will not Xerox my butt.
    * I will not drive the principal's car.
    * I will not eat things for money.
    * I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
    * I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call.
    * I will not sell school property.
    * The principle's toupee is not a frisbee.
    * I do not have diplomatic immunity.
    * I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
    * I will not go very far with this attitude.
    * Goldfish don't bounce.
    * No one is interested in my underpants.
    * I will not sell land in Florida.
    * I will not sell miracle cures.
    * I will not grease the monkey bars.
    * I will not hide behind the fifth amendment.
    I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten
    There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"
    Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related
    I will not file frivolous lawsuits
    A trained ape could not teach gym
    Loose teeth don't need my help
    I have neither been there nor done that
    I will stop phoning it in
    Class clown is not a paid position
    Substitute teachers are not scabs
    My suspension was not "mutual"
    A belch is not an oral report
    Dodgeball stops at the gym door
    I will not surprise the incontinent
    I am not the acting President
    I was not the sixth Beatle
    I will only provide a urine sample when asked
    The nurse is not dealing
    Science class should not end in tragedy
    I will not publish the Principal's credit report
    The hamster did not have "a full life"
    Fish do not like coffee
    Milhouse did not test cootie positive
    This school does not need a "regime change"
    SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
    The capital of Montana is not "Hannah"
    Teacher did not pay too much for her condo!
    The art teacher is fat, not pregnant
    Teacher's diet is working
    There's no such month as "Rocktober"
    I did not see teacher siphoning gas
    It's "Facebook," not "Assbook"
    The class hamster isn't just sleeping
    Chalkboarding is not torture
    I am not allergic to long division
    Halloween does not kick Thanksgiving's ass
    Teachers' unions are not ruining the country
    The world may end in 2012 but this show won't.

See the Emmy Nominated Wallace And Gromit Here

Wallace And Gromit - A Matter Of Loaf And Death

DANMAN | MySpace Video

"A Matter of Load and Death"

Been "Off the Air" For Awhile

I've been .... pre-occupied with a dozen other things more important than blogging for the past few months, but for now, with a more stable situation, I return to the blogosphere invigorated.....

Sorry to read that Scrubs, Heroes and Better Off Ted will likely be cancelled at the end of this season. All were innovative shows that broke the mold... Who can forget the Scrubs all-musical episode? Such wonders as "Guy Love" and "It All Comes Down to Poo..." made me laugh out loud.
Thank God for Modern Family and 30 Rock.

This blog will become more specialized, towards TV coverage... as you see. I seem to make more time for TV in my day than others..... But this isn't 'True Confessions.' On with the show....

If you've never caught Friday Night Lights on NBC or DirecTV, the first 3 seasons are on Netflix's direct streaming PLAY NOW section. Kyle Chandler deserved an Emmy for Best Actor but the show has been largely ignored by the public, despite winning a Peabody Award...
From Wikipedia:

".....The show’s producers decided at the outset to allow their performers leeway in what they say and do on the show. Though scripted like any hour-long television drama, performers are given great leeway in the delivery of their lines and the blocking of each scene. If actors feel that something is not true to their character or a mode of delivery doesn’t work, they are free to change it provided they still hit the vital plot points.^[20]

The freedom that producers have extended to the performers is complemented by the fact that the show is taped without rehearsal and without extensive blocking. Camera operators are trained to follow the actors rather than actors standing in one place and having cameras fixed around them. This allows performers to not only feel free to make changes but to feel safe in making those changes because the infrastructure will work around them. Executive producer Jeffrey Reiner described this method as “no rehearsal, no blocking, just three cameras and we shoot.”^[21]

Working in this fashion has had a profound influence on everyone involved with the show, with series star Kyle Chandler going so far as to say “When I look back at my life, I'm going to say, "Wow, [executive producer] Peter Berg really changed my life."”^[22] Executive producer and head writer Jason Katims echoes this sentiment saying “When I first came on [the ‘FNL’] set, I thought, it’s interesting — this is what I imagined filmmaking would be, before I saw what filmmaking was

Oct 11, 2008

Quick and Fun Science Project

Homopolar Motor - Funny video clips are a click away

Sep 27, 2008

Did You Know It takes 72 muscles to speak one word? Here's 25 More Facts

It takes 1,000 yards of linen to wrap an average mummy.
It takes 50,000 words to use up the lead in one pencil
It takes 600 grapes to make one bottle of wine.
It takes 30 to 40 gallons of tree sap to make one gallon of maple syrup
It takes 24 to 26 hours for a hen to produce an egg.
It takes 72 muscles to speak one word
It takes eight weeks for the average man to grow a one inch-long beard.
It takes one acre of soybeans to produce 82,368 crayons
It takes a bushel of corn to sweeten 400 cans of coke
It takes 25 tomatoes to make one bottle of ketchup
It takes one acre of trees one year to remove 13 tons of dust and noxious gases from the air
It takes seven years for a lobster to grow to one pound
It takes 345 squirts of milk from a cow's udder to make one gallon of milk.
It takes 18 hummingbirds to weigh an ounce
It takes 42,000 tennis balls for a Wimbledon tournament.
It takes one bale of cotton to make 1,217 T-Shirts
It takes about 100 cherries to make a cherry pie.
It takes 2 million visits to 2 million flowers for a honeybee to make one pound of honey
It takes five gallons of milk to make a five-pound wheel of cheese
It takes a mole one day to make a 300 foot long tunnel.
It takes 23 seconds for blood to make a complete circuit of the human body.
It takes a five-mile walk to burn off the calories of one chocolate sundae.